peeling back my eyelids in search of sleep, but it illudes me.
and then sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and have a cigarette in the moonlight. hugging my knees to my chest and letting the smoke slide efforttlessly between my lips while the chirps of the peepers echo across the pond... i sit completely still and wait for euphoria. inspiration. realization. and it rarely comes. but sometimes peace does. moonlight crawling through my unkept hair and a cool breeze slipping into my bathrobe, i bask in silence. i bask in hopelessness, and it makes me feel more alive than anything else.